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Conundrum is a great word. Like juxtaposition but without having to compare and contrast the mysteries, lo, riddles of life. And oy vey what a year of quagmire it has been. I find I am befuddled, enfeebled and flabbergasted simultaneously. And zowza, am I qualmish on every front. Is this the result of old age or the burrito with jalepenos I had for lunch?

Where to begin?

We saw a black President elected and political optimism spiked three whole seconds and then life went on as usual. I confess I am dating a Republican, a southern one at that, and though we argue on details we agree that once anyone gets to an elected office there is so much corruption that everyone looks and acts the same. But at least my local politics is interesting. Two women got elected too our town council here for the first time! That is either because women heretofore had the common sense to stay out of the fray, or because down south is finally leaving the 1950s behind and growing the %$# up.

Globally we are hearing that in something like 10 years there will be enough Muslims to vote in their own US President. See there ya go…zero population coming around to bite us in the butt. The establishment folks have 1.5-2.0 kids and everyone else in the world is having a ga-jillion. I am glad I am not a conservative Musilim who came to the US for sanctuary and freedom for my kids, especially my daughters. I bet those folks are being slapped around to join the militants…the bully militants they ran away from (See the movie “Kite Runner”). Can you imagine leaving al you had for freedom and the same thungs just moved in next door and YOU are guilty by association?

Then there is the world of petty annoyances. I saw a key chain ‘fob’ that had a cartoon with a woman saying, “We all know one:  a yoga practicing, vegetarian, democrat, five minutes away from bankruptcy.” That is a good example of why it is hard some days to live down south. This uppity $#@% with hert entitlement narrow thinking. Hey, I eat vegetables, I’m a democrat, I can do partial lotus flower position after a few Pina Coldas and I bet cha without your Sugar Daddy’s money I am worth more than you! Okay, I realize I am now yelling at a cartoon. But I am up to my Mint Juliep in this debutant mindset (oops one of their own got busted for selling cocaine this year) of being special…as in ‘more special’ than others based solely on their lineage and on nothing they have done! HOT TIP to all you Steel (and rusting) Magnolias: Being borm to privielege does NOT make you special or interesting. I think there should be a ceremony for 30 year olds who have accomplished something in their own right. Call it the paycheck award.

Then of course we finish the year off with Tiger Woods driving off his own drive way. No one is talking, but it is clear someone had a wee spat and drove off in a blinding huff. I’ve been there and have the body shop invoice to prove it. The real question wasn’t IF they had a fight. The real question is when did his wife learn to swing a club? And did she swing that club before he drove off or to later to rescue him. And was it his Big Betha or his little light weght putter? Wandering mings want to know.

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