SEX, DRUGS and ROCKY ROAD is our new slogan. (This is our third if you’ve been counting!)

Well, who woulda believed Boomers are not only alive and well in 2008, we are still Rockin and Rolling and, yes, Rocky Roading (with hot fudge sauce). Our new slogan came to me when I read a poster at my local Curves Exercise Club that said people over 20 years old gain on the average of 5 pounds for every 10 years. Hey, I am doing pretty well then, I smiled to myself. I was 120 lbs. in High School. I have been out of High School almost 40 years (that divided by 10 years)…four times five is twenty. Twenty plus 120 is 140 and I am…well, way above average. So, now, not only can I (still) NOT do math in my head, I am FAT! Zowza! I am depressed enough to eat all the left over Christmas cookies, if I could remember where I hid them.

The good news is I have a plan. La Weight Loss really works, if I work it. Curves really works and as soon as I recover from my strained back from trimming the 7 foot tree (I am only 5′ 2″) I will start in all over again and get back in shape. This is of course why most women have 3 or 4 sizes of clothes in their closets; water weight, holiday weight, and get-into-shape weight. Can you explain to me why tent-dresses and caftans were stylish when Twiggy was a model, but are no where to been seen when I need one? And I am not fooled by the high-end clothes that have changed their sizes to 0-1-2-3 anymore than I was amused by my grammar school reading groups named Yellow Bird, Red Bird, and Blue Bird, (AKA: Slow kid, Average Twit and Teacher’s Pet).

I also have drawers full of belts, why? Alas hope has not been the only thing springing eternal. I am considering removing all my belt buckles and making them into brooches, if I even had a place to wear a brooch…”attention ladies, we have a blue light special in aisle 14, anyone wearing a buckle-belt brooch gets an additional 10% off the Twinkies.”

My other plan? To sit back and laugh with our TWO NEWEST FUNNY SPOTS!

CHECK OUT: ‘The REAR View’ podcast and blog…’The REAR View Mirror’!

Description: Think Erma Bombeck, Heloise and Firesign Theatre! North Carolina improv humorists and radio hosts Marilee Williams and Sally Franz (and a cast of characters) dish out oodles of ideas on simplifying life. Topics include cooking from scratch, saving money, finding love, losing weight, and what to do with okra.

2. FUNNY SPOT: ALL NEW PODCAST THEME: The Cracker Barrel

Come join some of the funniest natural story tellers ever as I search the world for great life stories. Rich Meitin, Jim Barfuss, and Ilene Segalove lead the list this season. If you have a great true-to-life (and perhaps a wee bit exaggerated) story to tell, reach me at CONTACT on the top menu bar upper right.

Happy New Year and remember:

2008 is great, no matter how much you ate!

Sally

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